What Your Clothing Accessories Say About You
Today I would like to give a rundown of 3 common accessories that people wear or possess while out and about. Your choice of each one says quite a lot about your personality.
First, the method with which you carry your money is extremely insightful
- Money clip:
“I find wallets too cumbersome and annoying.”
OR
“I have left all my various debit and credit cards at bars throughout the city and no longer require the space that a wallet provides.” - Wallet w/ chain
“I am a struggling musician and live in a neighborhood frequented by pick-pocketing Gypsies.”
OR
“I OD’d at a Soundgarden concert in 1993 and went into a coma. I have just awoken and have not purchased a new wallet” - Roll of bills rubber banded together:
“I own a rap label or play in the defensive secondary of an NFL franchise”
OR
“I defaulted on too many TJ Max credit cards and no longer have the sufficient credit to open a checking account. I cash my paychecks at the grocery store”
Secondly, your watch or lack thereof can paint quite a picture
- Tag Heuer:
“I spend a lot of money on my watches to convey status”
OR
“My metacarpals are hollow and filled with helium and this extra-large face serves not only as a time piece, but also as an anchor to keep my hand from floating away.” - Digital watch:
“I am a high school track coach and needed the stop watch function”
OR
“I used to own an analog watch, but too frequently I spent an embarrasingly long period of time looking at and doing mental math before I could relay the time of day to those that asked.” - No watch:
“I have a cellphone.”
OR
“I couldn’t figure out how to take the links out of my watch to make it fit.”
Finally, your choice of sunglasses also gives us a glimpse of your true self.
- Oakley’s:
“I am a professional snowboarder.”
OR
“I walked by the Sunglass Hut after I left Mrs. Fields and I have no idea what polarized means.” - Aviators:
“I fly a plane, helicopter, or the Metlife blimp.”
OR
“I am looking for Sarah Connor.” - Plastic sunglasses with neon earpieces that say 7 Up:
“I found these in my closet and am wearing them to be humorous or ironic.”
OR
“I just came from a local carnival and am marginally good at ring toss.”
That’s all I got. Enjoy your Easter, Passover, non-denominational search for painted eggs, etc.
- Ryan
