Um, wow.
So, everyone knows that Chris Brown beat up Rihanna already. I imagine her 911 call was her simply singing “S.O.S.” into the receiver.
But also in the news today is Roberto Alomar. Who allegedly had unprotected sex with his girlfriend even though he knew he had AIDS. The lesson here? You should never go past second base with Roberto Alomar. (Get it? Cause he’s a second baseman and second base is also an allusion to the “base” system of hookups.)
Speaking of: Does anyone use the Base System anymore? I’m not even sure what each base is supposed to be at this point. With all the crazy things kids are doing these days, I wouldn’t be surprised if a rainbow party is now considered 3rd base.
Where’s the line kids? Internet porn and the Spears family have ruined everything. I got my SI Swimsuit Issue in the mail yesterday and flipped through it. At some point in my life, that magazine would have made me harder than calculus. But now I think it doesn’t quite hold the attention of adolescent men like it used to. It’s hard to rev your engine over body paint when you are three clicks away from seeing 3 women pleasure a donkey on the internet. So unless SI starts putting donkeys in swimsuits, I think it’s lost its relevance.
