Where’s the Emoticon for Soul-Crushing Rejection
So, I, like thousands of people applied to be a blogger for Best Week Ever. I had to write 2 original blogs and I have been waiting for a response since then. I think I can assume now that they are pursuing other avenues. They’re probably hiring the guy that came up with LOLcats or someone that knows Miley Cyrus (biblically). So here’s the first of 2 blogs I wrote weeks ago. Keep in mind they will be slightly outdated since I’ve been sitting on them for most of the month. (Side note: You know what Spencer Pratt sits on for most of a month? Penis.)
Tyra Banks in Danger of Losing her “Biggest Daytime Nutjob” Status.
The National Enquirer is floating a rumor around that Paula Abdul is talking to CBS about her own talk show.
Can we please make this happen? Please?
Picture the scene: We’re in a back booth of a Ruby Tuesday’s. We pan to Paula. She’s wearing a delightful green cocktail dress with loose straps and torn stockings. You barely notice the beer tear-smeared mascara as she takes another gulp of her long island iced tea. As she stumbles through her guest introduction like deaf kid with a stutter, we get a single glance at her wonderful smile. Complete with lipstick stained teeth. She wobbles to a standing/leaning/swaying position and greets our guest. Tonight it just so happens to be the cartoon cat from the “Opposites Attract” video. And tonight it just so happens to be half-price appetizer night. Tonight…..it’s going to be a great show.
No, Paula. You’re the one.
