Guest Blog from Schmidty
Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. John Schmidt with his thoughts on everyone’s favorite college quarterback.
Hey Tim Tebow, look under your playbook wristband and scope out the rainbow WWJD bracelet…would Jesus taunt the opposition when a football game is mere seconds from being over? I think not. For that and many other reasons I think you are a farce. A douche bag too, but we’ll get to that. Why do you feel the need to use your eyeblack as a billboard for God? Hell, churches don’t even do shit that corny! I hate you. God probably does too. I’m sick and tired of hearing every sports announcer on the planet verbally stroke you. I pray to “God” that you don’t make it to the NFL, because we are ever so close to never hearing John Madden, or any other media personality for that matter, talk about Brett Favre like he’s Unitas, Elway, and Montana rolled into one. If you make it in the League I have no doubt that my poor ears will be subjected to years full of comments about how great of a player and person you are. I love football and I don’t want to throw the remote control through my plasma. But, if I have to hear those comments I just might do it. Why can’t you be like every other football player in the history of the game and spend your offseason banging bitches and swimming in piles of money like Scrooge McDuck? Nooooooooooooo, instead you spend your time in 3rd world countries honing your medical skills on poor little Filipino kids, just so that the media will continue their verbal BJ. The media would not be so kind if they knew you performed all of those circumcisions with your teeth. I’m overjoyed that you are coming back from your senior year. Since my hopes at a botched shoulder surgery went out the window I must cling to the hope that your ACL get shredded at the hands of one of those “brutal SEC defenses.”
Ryan’s two cents: I heard that Florida is replacing their turf with water since Tebow would be the only one able to walk/run on it.
