Dance of the Elliptical Fairy
So, I recently began attending a gym again. It wasn’t going to be a New Years resolution thing, but my timing was terrible. Anyways. I witnessed the delicate ballet of someone that clearly had never seen a gym before. It was awesome. Especially because it was like a ballet. Except, the ballerina had a club foot and vertigo.
It was like this:
- Look at machine
- Raise eyebrow
- Sit on machine
- Look at the machine from seated position
- Begin randomly adjusting handles, foot pedals, etc.
- Start making an awkward movement.
- Realize you didn’t lock handles when you adjusted
- Readjust
- Still fail to lock handles
- Get up and remove sweatshirt and track pants. You are now wearing t-shirt and shorts
- Look at machine again
- Sit down again
- Readjust handles and foot pedals.
- Mess with iPod
- Make more awkward movements.
- Look around to see who’s watching
- Give up and leave machine
- Proceed to water fountain to quench the thirst built.
This is my goal for my “after” picture.
