Hey, I’m with Ya, but You Probably Went a Little Too Far.
A man was killed in Colorado after he played Margaritaville on the jukebox. Now, I would in no way advocate the killing of another person over a shitty song. But that song is really, really shitty. Like I really think that if I go to hell, that song will be playing on loop for eternity. My head will be filled with visions of cougars in their best Talbot’s outfit inhaling cosmos at some shitty Senor Frogs in Juarez, Mexico or something. That’s not an image I like to cling to for too long.
So now, I feel I should give you some background on why I loathe Jimmy Buffet and therefore, margaritas in general.
When I was about 12, my family took a trip to Colorado for a week or so one summer. My parents had to work late on Friday, so we rode over there with some family friends. They had just purchased a new minivan and had acquired their first CD player. Well, apparently they had never had one before and owned only a single CD. That CD was Jimmy Buffet’s Greatest Hits. For 11 hours that same CD was played over and over all the way to Beaver Creek. With sing alongs and all the bells and whistles that Jimmy requires. Furthermore, that week was 4th of July and every band that was playing in the park or on the street would play that song at least once in their set. They even had it playing during the fireworks display. (Side note: Many bands wanted to be family friendly and changed “it’s my own damn fault” to “it’s nobody’s fault.” I just always found that funny)
So after that trip, every time I hear the song or every time I see the fruity drink menu at a Chili’s, my ears start to bleed and I go unconscious for 6 weeks. Jimmy Buffet has ruined my life.
