Best Ass in the World Awarded.
Recently a bunch of people got together and decided to become the governing body of posteriors for the world. They awarded a male and female with the distinguished “Best Bottom” prize. How I was not given this honor or even nominated is a travesty. It has been known for years that my rear end is immaculate and has actually brought Tibetan monks and Amazonian tribes to tears. In fact, in a remote region of Africa it is worshiped and given the name Assazulu. Or roughly translated, Thunder Jeans. It is so revered in the Republic of Ireland that descendants of my ancestors, The Dooleys, petitioned to change their most precious holiday from St. Patrick’s Day to St. Ryan’s Got Backtrick’s Day.
I demand to speak with this so called “council” and require a recount. I will not stand for this gross abuse of power!
- Ryan
