Harvard Hit By Struggling Economy; Drops “Pretentious Douchebag” Program
Don’t look now, but Harvard has announced that it is feeling the pinch of the sinking economy. The university has an endowment that is larger than the GDP of most countries. They can afford to pay the tuition of every single student on their campus if they chose to do so. And they want to sing a sob song about not having money. I heard the Crew team had to change their uniforms from Polo to Tommy Hilfiger. Team captain, Chester Preston Willingham Hamilton Willington IV, was quoted as saying “This is an outrage! We look like those financially destitute fools at Dartmouth!” At which point he excused himself when the investors in the hedge fund his father runs began chasing him with torches and pitchforks.
