OMG, New GNR single is a POS
Congrats Axl Rose. You finally released a new single from your much anticipated* “Chinese Democracy” album. The last time you released an album, record companies were still producing cassette tapes. You’re withered and old and all of your good musicians left you to hang out with Scott Weiland and whatever drug he’s on this week. If you actually think that anyone outside of employees at Guitar Center still cares about Guns N Roses, you are sadly mistaken. No amount of dreadlocks will make you relevant again. You look like a stunt double in a bad “Leprechaun” remake. You have been gone long enough for hair metal, grunge, rap metal, swing music, gangsta rap, boy bands, and Ricky Martin to all have become passe during your absence. You are the guy that goes away to college at age 30 and thinks that they are cool and have something in common with everyone else. No one gives a shit. We’d prefer you sit in the back of the class, not talk to us, and refrain from fucking anything up.
*Can not guarantee that anyone not named Wayne Campbell or Garth Algar is actually anticipating “Chinese Democracy”
Side note: Axl should join fellow creepy ginger kids Jeff Garcia and Carrot Top and form a group called Earth Wind and Firecrotch.
