October 2008
17 posts
Shopping List for today
1. Candy
2. Razor Blades
3. Slutty Nurse Outfit
3 tags
Daly for the win!
John Daly was arrested because he passed out in a Hooters in North Carolina. The best part is that it was because the group he was travelling with got tired of his antics and left him there. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that tour groups that eat at Hooters are not the best judge of what’s acceptable. I don’t care if his pants were down around his ankles and he...
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You had better fucking not
Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones, and Jason Bonham say they want to tour without Robert Plant. At which point I spit out my coffee and pushed a baby seal down a flight of stairs. Would The Rolling Stones tour without Mick? Would Aerosmith tour without Steven Tyler? Would the Holograms tour without Jem? I think not. I scoff at you Led Zeppelin. Scoff!
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You don't make the South look any better
By now most people have heard of the two white supremists that were arrested for plotting to assassinate a presidential candidate as well as 88 other people. Before I delve into this, let me just chastise these two pro-choice poster children for the poorly thought out plan. Let me make sure I have your plan down correctly:
Step 1: Buy/cook some crystal meth
Step 2: Saw off shotgun
Step 3:...
7 tags
Mama I'm coming hoooooooome.
Great success for homecoming. Aside from the fact that the Jayhawks officially suck now. So lets consider my sports options at this moment. Chiefs? Awful. Royals? Awful. Jayhawks? Awful-ish. Does anyone know of a good Gaelic football team to cheer for?
Considering I stopped watching the game after halftime, I really can’t complain. But homecoming was a shit show. I’ve never...
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WatchLJ is apologizing for spitting on women. While this is a step in the right direction for the organization, I believe a few more apologies are required.
1. Larry Johnson should apologize to the New York Knicks for calling them “rebellious slaves”.
2. Brodie Croyle should apologize for forgetting to drink his milk. Which gives him brittle bones that crack under the slightest...
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OMG, New GNR single is a POS
Congrats Axl Rose. You finally released a new single from your much anticipated* “Chinese Democracy” album. The last time you released an album, record companies were still producing cassette tapes. You’re withered and old and all of your good musicians left you to hang out with Scott Weiland and whatever drug he’s on this week. If you actually think that anyone outside...
“There are probably a hundred kids in there, but no lunch money.”
– Me referring to the Magic The Gathering tournament next to Brian’s wedding reception
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Going after the Coveted "Halo Demographic"
The Obama campaign has begun advertising in video games via XBOX Live. Finally a politician in this country has realized the importance of getting the vote of video game fanatics. People we know very little about. Mainly because it is hard for pollsters to gather info when the target has their address listed as “My old frat brother’s couch.” By reaching them via Madden, the...
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Chupacabra on the Loose in Prairie Village!
So, last evening I was standing in my front yard. (Yelling about Jesus, like I always do at midnight) I happened to look across the street and noticed the silhouette of some sort of demon waddling its way into my neighbor’s yard. The shape of this dastardly creature can only be described as horrifying. Just below, you will find the artist’s renderings of last night’s events.
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WatchLast night’s debate made me think of Will Ferrell as Mack North.
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Signs of Fall in KC
Raytown residents go from sleeveless to 3-quarter Motley Crue tees.
Gunshots in KCK are attributed to “pheasant season.”
The spray tans on the cougars at Touches match the pumpkins
The leaves are the only things in JoCo that change color. (Houses stay taupe. People stay white)
Monday After Arrowhead hangovers decline by one now that Jared Allen is in Minnesota.
Katie Horner...
“What’s your bean situation?”
– “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”
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Peter Cottontail never called me back
Ok, so I do some strange things when I party. A few things being:
Peeing in my back yard instead of going inside
Sing popular songs but inserting my dog’s name into them
Trying to watch all of Almost Famous
Well this weekend I added a new quirk to my list. Apparently “hiding all possessions from my pocket around my house in different places” is my new hobby. I had a...
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If it isn't the leader of the Weiner Patrol,...
Nerdy news update! Some new details from the Watchmen movie have been announced. Nothing significant other than soundtrack news, but my nerd boner just went from Yoda to Chewbacca.
Apparently having sex in space is difficult. Most notably, the lack of gravity makes Wobbly H’s wobble just a bit too much. Plus it’s hard to escape out of the window in the morning if you’re in a...